Things to Note when Choosing a Travel Partner

As an avid traveller, I came across this article which hilariously and cleverly articulates five things to note when choosing a travel partner by Ladyironchef . Although I would like to discuss about my own opinions about choosing a travel partner, I would like to firstly provide a brief introduction to one of my favourite travel blogs Ladyironchef.

The blog began with humble beginnings by a man who has an inexplicable love for food, travelling and finer things in life. Sound quite familiar right? He writes about his personal experiences from his daily life, dishing out honest reviews about food and dining places, countries and cities that he travel to and visits, and generic lifestyle products.

Travelling to different countries, different places presents various experiences. Upon returning from Sydney, I took notice that some of my travel experiences were a letdown because of extremely different travelling styles between myself, my friends, or fellow travellers that I've met whilst exploring certain cities. Although, I do try to rationalize to myself that a bad experience, is an experience in itself and is often more memorable than a happy experience. It is often a good idea that we shall skip the lie that some of us tell ourselves and jump straight into choosing our travelling partner.

The blog hits the nail on the spot, as it is often that as we travel more in the company of friends, that we have come to the unfortunate realisation that not all good friends make good travel partners. Gaining an understanding that different people have different travelling styles and habits goes a long way in helping us to choose the right travel partners and ensuring our trips go as smoothly, or as interestingly, from my perspective, as possible. 

#1 THE GET UP AND GO, OR LIE DOWN AND NO

Some of us fall into the latter category of laid-back travellers. When we indulge in a holiday, winding down from our hectic schedule back at home is our top priority. A morning lazing in our lush queen-sized hotel bed? Perfect. Spending our entire afternoon on the beach’s daybed with our favourite read? Now that’s more like our cup of tea.

Travelling with the former group of people may then prove to be problematic. Unlike the laid-back ones, the busy travellers love their itineraries packed full of activities. From trekking in the morning to visiting 5 museums in the afternoon and a night full of shopping, such a travelling style may leave laid-back travellers gasping for air and frustrated.

Whether you are a busy or laid-back traveller, it is best to pick someone who is similar in travelling style.

I guess for me, it really depends on where we travel, the purpose of the trip and generally how energetic I am. I enjoy a good balance of both, but usually leaning towards the quarter slice formula consisting of:

• 1/4 unplanned for spontaneous adventures and experiences
• 2/4 packed itinerary visiting the iconic tourist sites, as well as the off-beaten hidden gems
• 1/4 of just pure indulgence relaxing and lying in the king-sized bed of 5-star hotel overlooking the city scape, the seascape, the landscape, whatever iconic, beautiful and majestic view that the city I am in has to offer or just spending some quality time with a loved one.

#2 THE NEAT FREAK, OR THE MESSY MONSTER

When we travel with a partner, we are bound to expose a little more of ourselves (not literally, of course). We all have bathroom habits. Some of us need only 15 minutes to shower, others, an hour. 

Does uncapped toothpaste tubes set off alarm bells in the morning? What about the navigating through your travel partner’s field of scattered cosmetics? 

If these bathroom pet peeves tie a proverbial knot in your robe strings (or literal), we suggest talking to your travel partner about them prior to the trip. Communicating these expectations in an amicable manner would prevent you from brushing your teeth with that tube of concealer. 

The key here is to also understand that different people possess different habits. Try not to fret over these personal differences and the trip will be a more enjoyable one for both you and your partner.

I am the neat freak, but of course with conditions. I like everything to be easy to find, clean, efficient so that I am always prepared for what may lie ahead. I do not want to walk through a mine-field littered with junk, clothes, whatever you can imagine, to be able to reach my bed or the shower.

I prefer the luggage to be neatly set out on the luggage rack, clothes that will be worn to be hanged carefully in the closet and shoes preferably in the closet too. Although communicating these expectations with your fellow traveller is important to ensure that both needs and wants are accommodated, but it'll definitely be so much easier with a fellow travelee that follows the same rules, this of course negates those who are messy but fun to travel with, you guys are the only few exceptions.

#3 THE ADVENTUROUS FOODIE, OR THE SAFE DINER

It cannot be denied that food is the one thing that brings people together and often a huge reason why people travel to a country (think Bangkok and Hong Kong). However, the glorious quest for food is not for everyone – divisions can happen if one traveller is a foodie and the other is not. 

We all know that one person who wants to put a live octopus tentacle in his/her mouth and wash it down with a cup of crushed crickets deep fried to perfection just moments before. However, while some of us have the industrious palette of Bear Grylls, it is important to remember that not everyone has the same taste. Some of us are much safer diners – we prefer to stay within our comfort zones and going for familiar food choices. 

Remember that not everybody shares the same sense of curiosity in food, and that if you are a foodie who is out to seek out a culinary adventure, it is best to bring along someone who’d appreciate a good food hunt. Finding out and deciding how far one is willing to travel for that sumptuous, glistening bowl of udon is the key in this situation. Nothing spoils a trip more than an unwilling party. 

Things other than the cuisine can sour the meal as well. For example, splitting the bill evenly down to the last decimal point may scratch the inner OCD itch in some of us, where others prefer not to deal with the nitty-gritty.

 

I can travel exclusively just for culinary delights. Although eating a live octopus is bordering close to the limits of my adventurous side, I'd probably do it and regret it, but leave with a memorable moment and not-too-appetizing experience that I have gained in life. I do prefer to go for quality food that is reputable, delicious, well-made and I know that I cannot get back home in Brisbane.

My palette of course is no match for Bear Gryll's, but I can manage and prefer to to go out of my comfort zone to try different and new things. I'd travel far and wide to find that sumptuous, glistening bowl of ramen, of which is one of my favourite dishes.

It's always interesting for me to learn as much about what I am eating, especially if it's special, delicately and carefully prepared and cooked, and this may include asking what specific potato's they may use (I did actually ask this when visiting the Mad Spuds Cafe in Sydney for a brunch with my friend where I ordered the Mad Spud Stack which was a crispy potato cake with haloumi, avocado, roast onion, spud skins, sweet potato and mint yoghurt) as shown below.

.. and just for your information they were using the King Edward Potato, a commonly available potato with fluffy texture that was sourced from local farms in Robertson on the Southern Highlands of NSW, which give the potatoes a robust unique flavour.

#4 THE ZEN BEN, OR WHINY NELLY

Murphy’s Law states that what may go wrong, will go wrong. Sadly, this particular adage won’t be far from the truth especially in any travelogue. When travelling to a new place for the first time, the possibility of getting lost, boarding the wrong train or missing that ticketed ferry-ride are all very real nightmares. 

This is when having a travel partner who possesses a calm and composed character, coupled with the ability to think rationally in unexpected situations, helps. The last thing anyone would want when lost in a foreign land is a travel partner complaining and whining about the whole situation without offering any solutions.

This one isnt' too surprising for me. I am well-known for my calm and composed character, but looks can be deceiving as I'm generally quite passive by nature, but once things do cross the line, I do speak my mind and try to alleviate any issues that of a repeat nature. 

But things to note is that there no absolutely not benefit to complain about an issue, unless there's a reason to do so in a manner that allows both parties to resolve on the topic of the issue that is being complained. Obviously there's better approaches to notify, let your friend know rather than complain. 

#5 THE WIDE-EYED, OR THE UNIMPRESSED

 

It is often said that the journey is less important than the destination, and for good reason. Compressing a part of your life into a suitcase and carting it off to a destination unknown is all about taking the paths you would not usually travel. 

Travelling with someone who has an inescapable sense of wonderment makes even the most mundane and routine tasks, such as catching the bus to the stop nearest to your hotel, a real joy. Such wide-eyed travellers make for good companions for someone who shares the same enthusiasm for travelling. On the other hand, if your travel partner is one who lacks any sense of intrigue and is blinkered to the joy of discovery, it can be quite a dampener. 

Making a careful choice of who to travel with helps to make your much-anticipated holiday more enjoyable. However, as John Steinback aptly puts, “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.’’ It is important to realize that we cannot control everything and things do go wrong when we travel.
In a trip as such, travel partners need to give each other a bit of room for imperfections and flaws, and be a little more accommodating to our travel partner’s idiosyncrasies. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to take things in our stride, and try to make the best out of our holiday vacation.

As a wide-eyed traveller with an inescapable sense of wonderment from every interaction and every unique new thing that I encounter and an unimaginable sense of curiosity and drive to seek new experiences and pleasures, I simply do not enjoy travelling with humdrums, whiners and complainers who easily unimpressed or believe that they know things better. Enjoy the moment, make most of it and most importantly, carpe diem.

How To Rescue A Boring Conversation

When you're trying to have a conversation with someone you just met, and the conversation is not getting off the ground, what’s a good topic or question to bring up to try to get some momentum going? Sometimes I find myself talking to people and simply not knowing what to say next, after the usual small-talk topics have been exhausted.

Thank you for your question.

When next you find yourself in this awkward spot, try a time-tested line: “I’m going to refresh my drink. May I get you anything?” Never fails. Making your way to or from the bar or the fridge, you can allow yourself to get swept up by a warmer current of chitchat and then simply drop off your interlocutor's drink without picking up the thread. This is how to ditch a bore while earning his appreciation. And if you strike out — if your ploy doesn’t yield an upgrade — at least you and your new acquaintance will have something better to do with your mouths than to timidly grouse about the weather.

I don't mean to issue a blanket condemnation of meteorological murmurings. One good reason to talk about the weather is that weather is sometimes bad: Shared hatred and mutual disgust make excellent crucibles of connection, as any good demagogue will tell you. Another good reason to shoot the breeze about the breeze is to take the temperature of a stranger’s temperament and to place his station by working through a classically noncontroversial topic.

The early stages of a conversation are, consciously and otherwise, about determining your interlocutor’s rank and asserting your own. This is human nature, as you will recognize if you learned the least bit of anthropology in college, whether by listening to lectures, studying your peers at room parties, or eavesdropping on visiting professors’ intrigues while working a job at the faculty club.

Entering a conversation with a stranger, one’s first impulse is to speak in a way that maximizes the potential for romantic enchantment, career advancement, status enhancement, so on. Fears and desires are evident in grammar, diction, vocabulary, and elocution, as Paul Fussell discussed in 1983’s "Class: A Guide Through the American Status System." Dismissing Alexis de Tocqueville’s naive belief that this country’s political organization “would largely efface social distinctions in language and verbal style,” Fussell wrote:

Actually, just because the country’s a democracy, class distinctions have developed with greater rigor than elsewhere, and language, far from coalescing into one great central mass without social distinctions, has developed even more egregious class signals than anyone could have expected. There’s really no confusion in either language or society, as ordinary people here are quite aware. Interviewed by sociologists, they indicate that speech is the main way they estimate a stranger’s social class when they first encounter him.

But if you do this, you will have become an active, attractive listener. Cultivate the rare talent for “eloquent silence” described, in 1842, by one Orlando Sabertash, author of one of the countless guides titled "The Art of Conversation":

 [The] man who listens with easy attention to the saddest prosing, — who delights the speaker with the impression his words seem to produce: this man, who only throws in an assenting smile, puts a single, well-timed question, or expresses a doubt, certain of being easily removed, — is the man of real genius, a sort of nonpareil in fact, and the rarest of all apparitions in modern society.

I am going on this detour to mimic the swerve of an engaging conversationalist on a provocative tangent — and also to say that the sooner you consciously acknowledge this truth of casual conversation, the sooner you’ll make peace with it; to remind you that there are steep odds against adults carrying on certain kinds of conversations across class lines; and to remark that it is amusing, when chatting with members of the petite bourgeoisie, to stay on the lookout for the euphemisms and Europeanisms and aspirational ennoblements that distinguish what Fussell calls “the middle-class quest for grandeur and gentility.” What’s the difference between a lawyer and an attorney? The latter, introducing himself as such, believes that the extra syllable confers an extra degree of fancy-schmanciness.

May I trace a reciprocal of the tangent? (As I say—as the Encyclopédia Moderne said — “Conversation is not a regular attack on any particular point, but a ramble at hazard through a spacious garden.”) “What do you do?” is not a great question. We all resort to it, granted, and it is no longer widely considered crass and vulgar, but it’s a bit dull, and it has a way of taking the bloom off the roses in the garden.

“What do you do?” points toward an old sin of American talk. One throughline of Stephen Miller’s 2006 book "Conversation: A History of a Declining Art" concerns the dreariness of talking about work. In the middle, Miller studies Charles Dickens’ remark that the U.S. “is a place where the pleasures of conversations are rare, mainly because the ‘love of trade’ makes Americans narrowly self-interested” and also quotes Gustave de Beaumont, Tocqueville’s road-trip buddy, noting that “American men are occupied with but one single thing, their business.”

Near the end, Miller observes that American advice on conversation has frequently proceeded from the careerist example of Dale Carnegie’s "How to Win Friends and Influence People": “Carnegie thinks of conversation as instrumental. The title of the book is misleading. The book is not about winning friends.”

To win a friend — or, at the very least, to gather data that will enrich your appreciation of the human comedy — you should ask something like “What are you excited about?” — which is nice and wide and cheerful. Just thinking about tomorrow clears away the cobwebs, you know.

To say, “What are you looking forward to this fall?” invites the other party to remark on enthusiasms and travel plans and hopes and dreams, and it allows him his choice of a momentous or delightfully trivial answer. He looks into the future while you look into his eyes.

It will be your duty, in this joint improvisation, to ask good follow-up questions. It will be your pleasure to reveal something of yourself — the slant of your curiosity, the cast of your mind — by drawing him out and encouraging a self-portrait.

Remember: Within many a superficially boring person, there is an interesting person waiting, all too patiently, to get out. Sometimes, to access the inner person, you have to probe as much as tact will allow — or even to prod, in the manner of a reporter or a shrink or a hiker poking a forest-dwelling furball with a stick to see if it’s alive. 

Source: http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-rescue-a-boring-conversation-2014-8?IR=T

2015

=============== 2015 NEWS YEARS RESOLUTION ===============

This is my New Years Resolution of things that I want to achieve. This will require things I will achieve rather than should. This will require commitment and discipline. Goals and more goals. This is my own resolution. This resolution will motivate and invigorate me. This will resonate closely with my values and long-term plans. 

This years theme will be 'objective driven' towards the idealized image. 

The idealized image being: Eudaimonia Happiness  

Overarching Ideologies 

Productiveness and Effectivness

Determination, Discipline and Focus 

Utilitarianism, Positvism and Respect 

Conscientiousness and Objectiveness 

Prominence and Leadership 

General Health, Lifestyle and Well Being 

Wake up with goals to do each day. Write them down. 

Complete those goals. 

Go to sleep reflecting on effectiveness and potential strategies over goals.

Begin food log - general eating

Begin fitness plan - general fitness

Career and Work

Always approach work with grit and determination, work twice as hard

Academia and Research

Continuous intellectual engagement, increasing the drive to engage in idea, rational thought and search for truth

Seek to learn three new words a week 

Finance 

Keep track of net worth - as indicator towards financial independence (asset vs. liabilities)

Consistent saving of 74%

Savvy investment 10%

Everyday spending 16%

Spend less to enjoy it more (focus on value of money bringing true happiness)

Be aware of buyers remorse / avoid emotional purchases 

Maintain emergency fund of six months of expenses 

Morals and Values 

Leave behind smiles and positivism behind every interaction. 

Always determined, in face of adversity, push forth, remain disciplined, remain calm

Remain pragmatic and realistic in everyday matters and goals 

Further affective engagement to investigate emotions as a poet does 

Hobbies 

Herb Gardening

Bonsai Tree

Socializing

Public Speaking

Blogging and Writing 

Philosophy, Science and History

Photography 

Cooking

Skills 

Furthering aesthetic engagement, the emotional absorption of artistic and cultural stimuli from finding beauty as a painter does

Prioritization, prioritization and prioritization 

**

In summary, all these can be accomplished with the best weapon of determination.