I've been struggling for faith in Christianity these past few years. It's been a rocky road. I wouldn't label myself as a Christian nor an atheist. As I read more into philosophy I've been sitting more in the middle ground as an agnostic. My beliefs are still being shaped by the books I read, experiences I encounter and the wisdom I've gained in life.
It's strange, as deep down I know there's only one person in the whole world that can make me believe, one that I remember talking to one quiet winter night just outside their house on a park bench underneath the stars. I still remember that moment being extremely magical, something quite unique and quite possibly, in all honesty and respect, I felt God's presence was there. There was something just about that presence which really touches your soul. I can't really explain it, but one day I might able to, if I were to believe again.
Religion and truth is quite important to me, I still remember when I was in early high school I wrote pages of my beliefs of the Universe, Christianity and God. I've always been fascinated by such beliefs, the mysterious and the unknown. During my University years I set on a journey and pathway to seek the truth, knowing that it may never come during my lifetime, but it would be an honorable journey.
I know if I were to become a Christian, I'd be a Christian apologetic rather than your everyday 'good person' Christian who follows the teachings of Jesus Christ and lives the rather passive Christian life. I would immerse myself in Christian theology just as I'm doing now, finding my path towards the truth. I've been looking for a Church who can answer my questions, a church where I can feel God's presence, a church where it's more than just attendance and listening to God's word. If you know one recommend me!
After seeking recommendations for interesting, rational and intellectually-stimulating books about Christianity, I bought my first Christian apologetic book 'The reason for God' by Timothy Keller. This is a book dedicated to the serious spiritual seekers or skeptics. As a spiritual seeker myself, I thought this would be an excellent book to begin my journey into Christianity. Going to Church and listening to God's teachings wasn't achieving any miraculous feats of belief and faith for me. Reading more into the works of Christian apologetic's I often find my thinking quite similar to theirs. and it offers me comfort that there are Christian's who are actually 'doctrine-friendly' in their opposition to homosexuality and abortion. Tim Keller believes that "Homosexuality, prostitution, sex outside of marriage and adultery all fall outside of what God says he has designed sex for". He considers his opposition to abortion as a matter of human rights, but is not opposed to contraception. Christian apologetics offers and presents a rational basis for the Christian faith, and is a field in Christian theology.
Why does God allow suffering in the world? How could a loving God send people to hell? Why isn't Christianity more inclusive? How can one religion be "right" and another "wrong"? Why have so many wars been fought in the name of God? These are just some of the many questions which have contributed to my struggle in the faith of God. Keller uses literature, philosophy, real-life conversations, and reasoning how faith in a Christian God is a soundly rational belief, held by thoughtful people of intellectual integrity, with a deep compassion for those who truly want to know the truth.
My review for this book will be coming soon as I discuss and highlight relevant passages in a future blog post.